


The Truth

by MidnightCarnival



Series: What Comes After [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Circle of Magi, Hurt/Comfort, Lucian Trevelyan, M/M, Mages and Templars, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rite of Tranquility, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3890350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCarnival/pseuds/MidnightCarnival
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian asks Lucian about what Cole said about him when out in the field.  Lucian tells him the truth, but not all of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth

The day had been going well. It was the day after the incident with Cole. Thankfully Bull, Dorian, and Cole had kept their mouths shut. Lucian had heard no rumors circling about his minor outburst. He had been angry the rest of that day, which he used against the Venetori once they had actually found the bastards. Truly they were little more than charred piles of slag when he was finished and other than a few nightmares the following night, Lucian was feeling no worse for wear. 

That was, until Lucian made the poor decision to spend some time in the library. 

"So the others may be willing to overlook that little episode with Cole, but not me." Dorian had said, arms crossed and Lucian's fingers immediately tightened on the book he was pulling from the shelf. Lucian frowned with a sigh. 

"You're certain you can't just leave well enough alone?" He snapped, shoving the book back onto the shelf with a tad more force than necessary. It wasn't like he'd be reading any time soon now. Dorian frowned at his rough handling of the tome. 

"No need to get angry at the books now. I rather like that particular book and would like it in one piece. There is woefully little literature in this country that isn't heaped with religious propaganda." The Tevinter mage scolded lightly, causing Lucian to squeeze his eyes shut in frustration and pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He was right. Of course he was. 

"I...apologize. Its just easier to get angry at these things rather than actually face them." He sighed, opening his eyes and removing his hand from his face. 

"So the question is, what is it that is bothering you?" Dorian asked, taking a step nearer to him. "Might as well get started with the loaded questions right out the gate." Dorian said with a small grin that caused Lucian to relax just a bit. Maker did he love the mans little grins...

'No, banish that thought. Kill it and bury it away before it takes root.' Lucian scolded himself internally with a frown. 

"A lot of things bother me, Dorian. You are going to have to be much more specific." Lucian said, turning back to the shelf so he wouldn't have to look the mage in the eyes. 

"Lets start with your outburst at Cole. I admit the boy is unnerving, but not warranting of a scolding. I can assume he was speaking of you? Must have been given your reaction." Dorian finished gently. Lucian could only frown. 

"Yes...yes, it was about me." He said turning back to Dorian who was now leaning against one of the few tables in the library. "I...was in the Circle for a long time. Few mages leave without their fair share of regrets and nightmares." Lucian said vaguely and Dorian quirked a brow.

"Yes, that much I gathered on my own, Lucian. But I have a few more theories of my own." Dorian stepped closer to Lucian still, their chests almost touching. Lucian's eyes widened at the invasion of space but he quickly schooled his face into a mask of careful neutrality despite the quickened pace of his heart. 

'It's just Dorian...he won't hurt you. Won't touch you without cause or permission.' 

As if hearing his thoughts, Dorian gestured to Lucian's headband. "May I?" Dorian asked and dumbly, Lucian nodded. His tongue felt like lead in his mouth.

Gently, Dorian wound his hands around his neck to the back of his head where the knot of his headband was. The flesh of his arms pressed against that of his neck and Lucian found that he did not...hate the contact...

Dorian's quick fingers made short work of the knot and like that the band that had remained on his head since this whole debacle began, fell away. 

Lucian closed his eyes as he felt the air on the sunburst scar on his forehead, not wanting to see Dorian's reaction to it. He had heard the mans slight inhalation of breath upon seeing it. What could he be thinking? 

A warm hand touched his own, causing Lucian to open his eyes in surprise as his hand was cradled in both of Dorian's. His eyes were sad, but not pitying which was good, Lucian could not stand to see pity from him. 

The words come unbidden from Lucian then, desperate to provide an explanation of some form. "Casandra said that a Tranquil had been cured before, but he had been out of control from emotion and irrational...I have no idea why...Why I am not the same. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. That its only a matter of time before I go mad o-or become Tranquil again." Lucian's voice quakes as he finishes and Dorian's hands do not release his own. 

"You were a harrowed mage," Dorian begins, confusion in his voice. "I knew the Circles here were little more than prisons, but Casandra said that a harrowed mag could not be made Tranquil-"

"-Unless proven to be a danger to others or a melificar." Lucian finishes, an frown turning down the corners of his mouth. "I had killed a fellow mage who had...attacked me. The reason didn't matter, they only needed an excuse. One less mage to deal with in their eyes." The bitterness comes out of his voice at the end of his statement and Lucian pulls his hands from Dorian's to tie the red band back around the damning mark on his forehead. 

"From that point on I was theirs entirely." Lucian spits the words out like poison. Bile that had built up for far too long. "Nothing was too debased for me. Short of throwing myself from the tower all orders were followed to the letter." 

"They abused you." Dorian surmised and Lucian laughed a bitter sound. 

"Figured that out did you? I suppose 'bloodied fingers and thighs' does not leave much to the imagination." Dorian flinched at his blunt wording and Lucian felt a pang of shame for making the mage uncomfortable. 

"I...apologize. I don't wish to burden you with this."

"To the Void with what I feel!" Dorian snapped, shocking Lucian. "Of all of us here you are the one who should allow away some burdens." His arms crossed and there was fire behind the mages words, further shocking Lucian. Did he truly care so much for him that he would say such a thing? 

"It is alright Dorian, I am more than used to it." This turned out to be the wrong thing to say as Dorian's scowl intensified. 

"Kaffas, Lucian! I would not call systematic abuse of power and rape something that someone gets 'used to'." It was Lucian's turn to flinch at Dorian's wording, causing the man to look immediately chastised. 

"I..Forgive me. It is not you I am angry at." Dorian said quietly with a sigh. 

"It is alright Dorian. I know you were not angry with me." Lucian said and attempted a smile, but it likely looked more like a grimace. 

"For what its worth, I appreciate your....friendship. No one has taken the time before." This seemed to be the right thing to say and caused Dorian to smile weakly and give a small exaggerated smile. 

"Handsome and ridiculously well dressed Tevinter mage at your service, my friend." 

For the first time in a long while, Lucian truly smiled.


End file.
